Cordless. . .

phone. . . drill. . . Logan! We just had a great weekend. We had visits from Grammie & Papa Sell, Aunt Jenn & Uncle Curtis, & friends from Phoenix! Logan is off his monitor and doing great. He continues to have a great appetite and weighed in at 8 lb 10 oz today! He's 21 1/2 inches long and I have no idea how big his head is because I didn't take the time to find a measuring tape. We're slowly rotating out some of his newborn clothes and thank goodness, because we were running out of room on his shelf! We're having so much fun with him as he loves to cuddle. We're having a great week and are looking forward to another busy weekend as we have family coming in to town for Logan's baptism. Thanks for checking in!

Love, the Sells

We wanted to share a few quick photos with you. In the first, Logan's showing you just how big he's gotten compared to Sam the bear. Auntie Jenn finally got to come for a visit for the first time since he came home, and as you can see, Logan really loves his aunties! The last photo was taken just after we returned from dinner. Logan spent some great time with Chelsea, his babysitter while we snuck away for a quick birthday dinner. We're looking forward to a visit from Grammie and Papa later this evening and anticipate a great weekend. GO BIG RED!

Great day!

What a great day we had today! Logan helped me celebrate my 30th birthday today. What a great day to sit back and thank God for another year of richest blessings. Certainly, Logan's health is the best present I could ever ask for. We snuck out for lunch with Abby at marketbasketomaha.com. It was delightful (Thanks, Abby). I also splurged on a haircut with highlights today (photos tomorrow, perhaps).
Logan continues to do well off caffeine. We learned tonight that there was a misunderstanding regarding how long he needs to stay on the monitor, so we're working through that to see what the best plan will be for the little guy (and for mom and dad!)
We have a couple of family members undergoing surgery this week; we pray that they're wrapped in the Lord's grace and healing and that the surgeries are successful. Enjoy the rest of your week!
Much Love!

Today was

a perfect day for a snuggle because it was cool and cloudy. So we did. All day. And I loved every second of it. He certainly isn't acting like he's going to be small for long given that he weighed 7 lb 10 oz on Friday! The kid is eating like a maniac!
We had a big weekend, as it was a retreat weekend for our residency program. It was fun to meet everyone's children, especially since two of them were preemies! They're now boisterous little ladies who don't skip a beat. It was nice to chat with the moms, too, and compare NICU stories.
He's doing GREAT off caffeine, and the monitor has been quiet, except for a couple of minor alarms while eating, which we pretty much disregard. I think we're probably on track turn the monitor off for good by mid week (if its okay with his doctor, of course : ) Other than that, things have been nice and quiet. We've been spoiled by the women of my bible study, who have been dropping by with food (I think they found out that I was everything I attempted to cook for a while. Something in the apartment always seems to distract me (i.e. want to eat) right about the time the buzzer goes off).
We're looking forward to visits from family this weekend and pray for safe travels for everyone. It's also the weekend for the fall festival at our church. We're a little bummed that our participation will be limited (and I'm perhaps more bummed that I can't make a decent cookie for the cookie toss booth : ) We're looking forward to a great week and hope you're doing the same.
Much love! Dale, Michelle, & Logan

drug free zone

Okay, its time to keep your fingers crossed and maybe for some specific prayer requests. Yesterday (Wednesday) we stopped Logan's caffeine, so he's starting day two of his drug free (medicine free) life. You'll recall, last time we tried stopping it, which was nearly a month ago, the frequency of his alarms picked up and he proved to us that he wasn't quite ready to go off of it. Being off of it at home restarts another "spellwatch" on the monitor. We'll watch for a period of time (perhaps 7 days?) to see if he has any alarms. If he doesn't then we'll petition to get rid of the monitor! As you can imagine, this would be incredibly cool on a number of levels! We're hoping as well that stopping his caffeine will help with reflux as he does seem to be as spitty baby (cutting back on the frequency of this would be cool on a few levels as well).

We had a much better day today, and are off to a better night already. (I don't feel compelled to shower in the middle of the night to regain my sanity).

Of course, we'd also ask for prayers regarding our upcoming transition to Central City and specifically surrounding the closing on our next home. We've already experienced some delays and have some anxieties regarding logistics, finances, etc.

I'm trying to frequently recite (and live and breathe) a favorite verse-- Phil 4:6-7 "Have no anxieties at all, but in all things, by prayer and petition, make your requests known to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." Indeed, He does just that (when I let Him).

Monumental

Tonight is a top ten night. Yup. One of them where I've counted to ten. . .and back again. We achieved a milestone today, and Logan is (finally) able to nurse unaided, so we spent the day today nursing exclusively and trying to avoid bottles . In order to maintain enough milk for him, it was timely that this happened. I'll spare you the juicy details, but know that essentially we're starting at square one (and a half) with breastfeeding and trying to figure things out. I'm sure those of you candidates for sainthood out there who have gone through the steps to develop a healthy nursing relationship with your child can empathize with the frustrations associated with our day/evening. Certainly, circumstances won't allow him to be an exclusive nurser (i.e. he needs a bit of special preemie formula daily, one day all too soon I'll go back to work and he'll get bottles at daycare) but for the time being I need to boost the supply on my end. So we're nursing. It's been an emotional experience for both of us. Deep breath. Smile. We'll get there. . .

still here!

I just typed a beautiful, poetic post but lost it when I tried to post it. . so this substitute will have to suffice : )

I didn't realize it had been so long since I'd posted. We continue to do great here at home and are getting to know each other better every day! Sunday we made a quick trip to Central City to take a good look at our next home. It will require a lot of patience and will be a work in progress, but we're excited. Dale has great plans for the lawn and garden(s), I have GREAT plans for the kitchen, and Logan has great plans for the playhouse! It was nice to spend time with good friends. We look forward to the changes that are just around the corner for us. We stopped at the clinic briefly and our nugget weighed in at 7 lb 3 oz!
Logan was a little bit unsettled again yesterday. We spent most of the day and evening trying to figure out what could possibly be wrong. Today I surmised that he's just developing a temper (what?!?! my kid!!). It seems to be more prominent as his red hair is more noticeable. We're still toying around with his feeding schedule that he can tolerate and gets him the calories he needs.
Today Logan and I met friends at Fontenelle Forest, another outdoor facility where germs are diffuse-able and people aren't very heavily concentrated. We had a great morning; we got some fresh air and I had a lovely chat with another adult! This afternoon I closed the book on the "To-Do List" for a while. My time home is going way too quickly! I continue to spend too much time on the phone trying to coordinate various aspects of our life. That left a little more cuddle time, which was okay by me. It's my favorite thing in the world to do and each time reminds me briefly of the sea of emotion we experienced the first time we got to hold him in the NICU.
We hope this finds you well and enjoying the waning days of summer. Sending little Logan hugs your way!
Dale, Michelle & Logan

still there!

So the web is still there, at least the top half is intact. It's dirty and battered, but it survived two nights of automatic sprinklers and my 6'5" husband coming and going to work. Yesterday I found Charlotte on our living room floor, which was absolutely not okay.
Today is my due date. Its a little bit surreal, and I spent some time this morning reflecting on just how far little Logan has come. I can't help but be filled with joy for the blessing of a new life who's been entrusted to our care. We're having another good day at home today; I have a few projects I'm trying to take care of between naps and feeds. Yesterday we got out for a bit; we made a quick trip to the zoo with friends (during off peak hours, of course).
On this date when our country remembers being rocked to the core, I hope you'll take a moment to give thanks for the precious people in your world. Have a great weekend!

Charlotte

We had a great day today. Logan and I ran a few errands, but for the most part we just hung out. He was in a great mood today and was tons of fun to watch and feed. It's such a privilege to get to know Logan more and more every day. I felt very content today. More than other days, I felt wrapped in God's love and was filled with a sense of calm and peace (so your prayers are working. . thanks : )
We enjoyed dinner with friends and as they were leaving, we witnessed a spider building the most magnificient web I've ever seen. I tried to photograph it, but none of the pictures turned out, and the ones that did showed only a fragment of the web. The anchors stretched from feet up into the tree to the ground, and the web is over a foot in diameter. We watched as the spider started in the middle and made its way round and round. Later I went to check it out, and each concentric ring was millimeters from the one before it. The spider itself was nested in the middle of the web, content and pleased with its work, I would imagine. I'm anxious to see if the web is there in the morning. . doubtful, I suppose. Someone will come along and wipe it away, or not see it and walk right through it (I know what you're thinking. . I'll probably be the one to walk through it). I'd love to step out each morning and see it and know that its there. For now, however, the spider is safe and sound with everything it needs.
I feel compelled to compare this to my faith. At times it seems to take a lot of work to build it up and maintain it, and at times no one can see it, but we know its there. When they can see it, they see a fragment of it. The truth is that it is magnificent and vast and intricately crafted. Sometimes, "life happens" and the web is disrupted, never entirely. . . there are always remains. . . but enough that the web requires constant rebuilding. Once in a while, if even for a brief moment, the web seems complete and we can snuggle up in the middle, surrounded by protection and to provide nourishment.
I am grateful for many things. I am grateful for a relationship with our Lord that is vast and beautiful and intricate and portable. I am grateful for the experiences of late that have showed me that that relationship can at times seem delicate. I am grateful for the ability to go "back to work" at any time, reconstructing the web, and I'm grateful for the ability to take advantage of previous hard work and sit lazily in the middle of the web. I'm grateful for family and friends who are continuously lifting us up in prayer so that we might take a breather as needed and stop weaving the web for a bit.

photos

We posted some new photos of Logan, and instead of posting twice, you can follow this link to the post on my facebook page. The March of Dimes representative took them for us in the NICU . . here's a sampler. She did a great job!
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=117294&id=589142623&l=62d2c26108
enjoy!

Today we took

a really. great. walk. I needed to bust out of the apartment for a while, and was desperately hoping to get some exercise, too. In an effort to avoid crowds and enjoy the big outdoors for some fresh air, we went down to Lauritzen Gardens for a couple of hours this morning. We got to try out Logan's stroller for the first time (thanks auntie Jenn, for putting it together). The weather was perfect and Logan slept the whole time (thank goodness because the pacifier fairy seems to have gotten into the diaper bag and we ended up away from home without one). There weren't a lot of people in the park, so that was good for us, too. Dale noted that it was the first time I'd been in the sun (except for out and about running errands) since the 4th of July. It felt really good to get out and walk. Really really good. If you haven't been there, the gardens are beautiful, even as we transition from summer into fall. The rose gardens took a hit in the storms last summer, so they're on the mend, but the well manicured grounds, beautiful landscaping, and of course the flowers are well worth the price of admission. Next year we hope to be back in Arcadia for the annual Fall Festival. We hope our friends and family are having a wonderful, safe time!

How've you been?

(Warning: flight of ideas ahead)
Its been a while, how've you been? Again, as readers you can generally assume that no news is good news. We continue to make our way through the days as new parents, trying to figure out what the heck we're doing with this new person living with us. I would say that all in all, we're doing pretty well. Logan has the ability to sleep well at night, which means that I get to sleep sometimes at night. I do my best thinking and writing at night, so I haven't taken the time to sit down and type. Plus, I haven't had much to write about, short of providing a mundane play-by-play of our day. Maybe its writers block. Maybe its because I feel a little bit indifferent at the moment. Maybe I'm scared because things are going well and I'm afraid to let my guard down because that seems to be when disappointment sets in.
Logan's been home a week (already!?!). Dale was home for the better part of a week and went back to work on Thursday, leaving Logan and I to figure out the ways of the world. We have a good time. He does a great job changing things up for me, so that just when I think I know how much he likes to eat, he pukes half of it up in my lap. Just when I decide that he hates to nurse and just wants a bottle, he rejects the bottle and nurses for 30 minutes. During those times, I try to remember to turn my "doctor" off, quit trying to figure him out, and just go with the flow.
I've been spending the rest of the week on the phone, it seems. Which brings me to my next point. I've had a hard time processing my emotions lately because honestly I feel like I've (we've) been let down. Not by any particular person for any specific reason. I've been trying to coordinate follow up appointments and services for Logan--something that should have been done upon dismissal from the hospital, but due to a number of seemingly innocent oversights and miscommunications, I've been trying to straighten it out all week. We're trying to get the paperwork finished up so we can close on our house in Central City next month. I feel let down because I planned to moonlight a few weekends to cover the downpayment. I got to bring a premature kid home (not a let down!) in the middle of the craziest flu season in decades, so we have to keep him home. He wears a monitor that shrieks and provokes anxiety, so I can't ask just anyone to come by to watch him while I go to the grocery store. I feel let down by some friends or family from whom I haven't heard, or when I do, they ask casually, "How've you been?" I want to answer, "Oh you know, just took a quick trip to hell and back. How are you?" (Please know that we are gaining strength from so many of you who are supportive and helpful and for that we are so eternally grateful!) I feel like God let us down, and sometimes going to church is absolutely the last thing I want to do. I went to bible study this week, and we talked about praying without ceasing and you know what, that is sometimes the last thing I want to do, too. I trust that God sees my brokenness during those times and interprets my prayers for me, however scarce and feeble they might be.
Through it all, we continue to move forward. I feel a little bit like a circuis clown, riding a unicycle and juggling at the same time. We do the best we can to keep the balls in the air but sometimes one falls and rolls away, but there's no time to go after it or the others will assuredly come crashing down. The awesome thing is that during intermission, I have a beautiful, perfect (6 lb 11 oz!) little boy who just loves to snuggle and owns my heart and needs me and for that reason, the juggling act occasionally just has to wait.

Shhh. . . be vewy vewy quiet. . .

Logan's sleeping. We had a bit of a rough night last night. Logan was very discontent all night, despite our creative efforts to appease him. He didn't sleep well and ate poorly. It can likely all be attributed to adjusting to lift at home, but I can't help but worry about him when he as off days. Dale and I had a couple of learning sessions this morning, so he should be more equipped to take shifts when Logan fusses at night.m Early this morning his feeding picked back up, which was reassuring to me. He also pooped this afternoon, which helped a TON (he'll thank me when he's fifteen for sharing his bowel habits with the world, I'm sure). His alarm has been fairly quiet and the home health nurse stopped by to check things over. Since then, it's been going off for "equipment failure" off & on all day. Go figure. He's had a few alarms, but they're not concerning because they're brief and tied to feeds or spitting up. He had his first Dr. visit today and weighed in at 6 lb 6 oz (equal to the birth weight of his beautiful mother. . . at this rate he'll reach the birth weight of his father at about a year and a half --kidding). The doctor was very pleased with how he's been progressing. We'll take him in next week for two month shots already! I can't believe it!

For now, he's been more content tonight. If the stinking alarm would quit shorting out, the kid might actually get some good sleep. I'm about to sign off and will let Dale try his hand at the first shift. Hopefully we won't chuck the monitor out the window. Hope you're well and geared up for a great holiday weekend this weekend.

D.M.L