Just a quick update:
Peanut #2:
We had another ultrasound today and met briefly with the perinatologist. Everything looks GREAT (Praise God!!). She didn't have any other suggestions other than to stay the course. She was also encouraging and said they've had great results with the progesterone therapy that we're using to help prevent another preterm delivery. I look forward to peeking at her final report when it's sent. So. . . we're staying the course for now and keeping fingers crossed. Our dates are still the same--due 8/30.

Peanut #1:
Logan continues to do so well. He's really close to crawling; gets up on his hands and knees and occasionally lurches forward. He's not quite sure what to do once he gets there, so he usually just gets upset. He's growing and growing. . . has jumped an entire growth curve from his 6-9 month visit. He continues to smile incessantly and is a great storyteller already. He's started spitting up a ton again, so that makes for a lot of laundry. We're blessed to have such a laid-back kiddo as we figure out this parenting game.

Daddy #1:
He's been busy at work outside, working to keep the ginormous lawn trimmed and looking spiffy. He planted one garden and is going to try to put in a couple of raised beds this week. He has a big birthday at the end of the week, so we'll have to figure out a special way to celebrate that. He does an awesome job keeping the house together, clean clothes in the baskets (we still haven't acquired any bedroom furniture--oops!) He's also been helping out on Saturday mornings with the city youth soccer program. He's such a motivator for the kiddos and I love to watch them!

Mommy #1:
I continue to feel well and work is going great. It really is a lot of fun and I look forward to going back on Monday mornings (usually). I have an occasional bout of paranoia about the pregnancy, which I suspect is normal. I've been trying to do some more reading from moms who have been through all of this before and it seems to be the general consensus. I wouldn't mind if I could get more sleep at night (am hoping this will get better soon, at least for a little bit??) Tomorrow I'm speaking for a local support group for caregivers. I chose to talk about grief and the incredible roller coaster ride that ensues when life takes an unexpected turn. I'm really excited about it (and also plenty nervous). Every time I practice the talk I choke up and am flooded with emotion, but I think it will be good for me. If you've got a minute, please send up a prayer that the Holy Spirit would direct my words and that the people will gain something from it (besides listening to a blubbering doc talk about her summer).

Hope this finds you well. I'll try to post more often as time allows. Love to each and every one of you!

ten little fingers and ten little toes

We had our first ultrasound yesterday and I'm a bundle of emotions. (Nope, we didn't find out the gender, so you'll have to wait along with us.) The further we progress, the more I am reminded that I am absolutely not in control. Its hard not to play the what-if game (even though I know better). I remember very clearly the events that led up to Logan's short labor and abrupt delivery. I continue to feel just fine physically. . . just like I did last time. Sometimes I feel very helpless, like there's nothing I can do to ensure things go right. . . and that's scary. I get frustrated because I'm a (explicitave) physician and I can affect the outcome of someone's life, but I can't ensure that I know how to stay pregnant. I'm scared of a lot of things. I'm scared of having life as I know it come to a screeching halt (again) and having to be put on bedrest and sit. . . and wait. I'm scared of not being able to go to work every day and make a living. I'm scared of delivering a baby in a strange place (a hospital I've never been to with nurses I've never met) and then having to go home without him/her. . . again. I'm scared that I will not have the energy to love two children completely, as they deserve to be.
I'm also in love. I'm not a fan of 3D ultrasounds, but yesterday we counted 10 little fingers and 10 little toes. I fell in love for the first time with this baby, who seems to know just when to kick/roll and say hello, tell me everything's okay, and who's taking my emotions to the extreme such that I don't know if I'm going to laugh or cry. Eventually (hopefully 20 weeks from now) this baby will enter our world and it will never be the same. I am comforted by this baby with ten little fingers and ten little toes, who makes any trial that may come our way completely worth it for the blessings we'll receive in the end . . . and along the way.
Stay tuned!