Getting the Best of Me

I sat down to post a few new pics of my kiddos, and this is the only one I could get to upload. I think its fitting, however. I'll try again later for the rest of them.

A week or so ago I had some extra time before clinic, so I decided to run a few errands. I grabbed some groceries and stopped to drop them off at home. The babysitter was there, cleaning up the kids' breakfast dishes. The kids were in the living room, each playing with their respective toys, laughing, and talking to each other across the room. They were perfectly content. I promptly asked the babysitter who the children were, and asked her where she'd stashed my kids. I mentioned that I never enjoy such peacefulness when they are both awake, and she alluded to the idea that this was pretty much their morning routine for her.
As I drove in to work, I entertained a huge wave of self-pity as I realized that my babysitter often gets the best of my children. It makes sense. They wake up, eat breakfast, and get dressed. They are well rested and are enjoying the excitement of another day and prospective adventures. They haven't had time to annoy one another, have full tummies, and aren't bored. By the time I get home in the evening, they may or may not have napped well, have torn throught their toys and found a few to argue over, and they most assuredly have some sort of foodstuff in their hair.
Then I thought about it a little bit more, and realized they probably feel the same way about me. I take my well rested, clean, fresh face to work every day. By 6 pm, the mom who walks through the door has devoted her whole brain to 25 people during their clinical encounters, argued with insurance companies (or providers or patients or nursing staff or hospital administration-ha!), been frustrated by difficult diagnoses, laughed with the clinical staff, spent an hour and a half talking into a tape recorder, and only wishes that whatever is crusted in her hair has come from a food product. Certainly "the best of her" was exhausted at one of those junctures.
I am trying to be very aware of who gets "the best of me" from now on. Certainly, everyone deserves the best of me, but I'm only human. I am so grateful for awesome help and a wonderful babysitter who takes great care of my kids and tries to keep things consistent for them. She teaches them invaluable lessons, and I couldn't ask for a better surrogate during the day. I am grateful for a wonderful husband who helps out at home in ways that several men probably don't even realize exist. He's flexible and patient. I'm also grateful for partners and a clinic who realize that I'm a Mom 100% of the time and that once in a while I need to reserve a bit of "the best of me" to take home.